|The Umpire Takes A Dim View|
The Sunday baseball team had a one run lead;
It was so dark, that to the umpire they’d plead.
Don’t call the game with a half inning to go!
There is still enough sunset and afterglow.
The catcher was so confident as he spoke,
‘Give that team a chance for a homerun poke.’
I can still see that ball; I c an see every stitch;
Let’s play that last half inning and let him pitch.
Collusion, Confusion and Illusion/Hidden Ball Tricks
This story from Uncle Clarence and parents
About a pitcher and catcher named Clarence.
None of these three persons are one or the same,
Although they all three share the same first name.
This game would be classified as a ‘no game’.
But another win would be their claim to fame.
They’re ballplayers, in the darkness arrayed
Putting on a once in a lifetime charade.
Conference at the Mound Double-Talk
When catcher Clarence went to visit the mound,
He said, “I will slap my mitt, to make a sound.”
So, pitcher Clarence, to his windup comments,
And these are the true events, although condensed.
Holding the ball, a fake motion with his arm,
The catcher smacked his mitt, it worked like a charm.
“Nice pitch!” yelled Clarence, the catcher, “Well done.”
The ump didn’t see it, but bellowed, “Strike One!”
Speed or Darkness Made the Ball Invisible
With a false movement he threw the baseball back.
The pitcher’s right hand hit the glove with a smack.
They faked twice, the ump didn’t have a clue.
The catcher crooned, “Nice pitch.” The ump said, “Strike two!”
The catcher faked again, “Right down the pike!”
Not to be outdone, the umpire called the third strike.
Clarence and Clarence, with that rhythm, found their niche.
Couldn’t carry a tune, but had perfect pitch.
No See-No Contest/Catcher in the Wry?
Another batter came up to the home plate,
The catcher pronounced the very next pitch, “Straight!”
The umpire watched the catcher ‘catch’ the next pitch;
Not knowing they were giving him ‘bait and switch’.
Three times Clarence the catcher popped his mitt.
It was no longer a game, just a devious skit.
The catcher pronounced the next, “A perfect pitch!”
A ball, or strike? The ump couldn’t decide which.
The Umpire Didn’t Strike Back/The Shadow Knows
“Swing batter,” teased the catcher, to batter three.
That’s the only perfect pitch you’ll ever see.”
The ruse was working well, without a hitch.
As the umpire decided, “Strike” on that pitch.
Two more pitcher-to-catcher motions and pops
He called strikes, he should have called the cops.
This local baseball team, had won, on a switch.
Hesitantly, the ump called a “Strikeout pitch.”
©2014 Orv Alveshere