ECCENTRIC EQUINE EXPELLED
-By Orv Alveshere-
HORSING AROUND IN SCHOOL
A lady bought a very gorgeous horse
And she paid for a ‘finishing school’ course
Then she trailered him many miles away
Where his training would last through the month of May.
There’s a sad story in this ‘cowboy poem’
And it happened at the horse-boarding-home.
No one would have expected a flim-flam
Right after he passed his entrance exam.
EQUINE ENTRANCE EXAM/UNSTABLE NAG
Who would have guessed, he’s be such a ‘bad egg’?
Look at him: he had forlegs and back legs’
Two eyes, ears, mouth, whithers, mane and tail.
Four horseshoes and 32 horseshoe nails.
Yes, he had the proper teeth for his age.
Snap the fingers, and the ears did engage.
And for those of you, who would give a hoot
He had a proper sized horse’s patoot.
EQUINE EVENING EXCURSION/ HOUDINI?
Late that night, he and his guide, Clydesdale Clyde,
Escaped and found a dandy place to hide.
They played hooky and wanted a free ride
This gave a new meaning to a ‘horse hide.’
They were not your usual ‘horsey’ ninny
As riders passed he refused to whinny.
And when they found this non-conforming horse
Brought him back, but a fence to reinforce.
ERRATIC, ENGIMATIC EQUINE BEHAVIOR
The training started in earnest next day
But he could only think of oats and hay.
His stopping and starting were out-of-sync,
He’s stamp his feet, shy, buck and raise a stink.
The trainers were embarrassed by this horse,
So here’s a ‘nag’ who flunked his horse-show-course.
And for his incorrigible syndrome
The trainers sent this horse’s patoot home!
A REWARD/HORSE LAUGH OR LAST LAUGH?
Into the trailer from out of the chute
They loaded this uncooperative galoot,
Down the road with this ‘negative’ all-star
Turned to the Dairy Queen and stopped the car.
Two ladies licking their cones down to half,
Then they exploded into a ‘horse laugh.’
This was expensively funny that they
Were outdone by the horse that just said “neigh.”
THE HORSE WAS A PATOOT IN THE END
He stretched and leaned, and then he stretched some more.
He got the ice cream cone with one big bite.
And the lady’s reward was out of sight,
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
He went to finishing school and blew it.
Did I make this tale up? Not on your life.
Ask the one who lost the cone, she’s my wife.
Orv Alveshere, an award-winning writer of humorous cowboy poetry and stories, “grew up hanging on a horse.” He writes about his lifetime of adventures.
Orv Alveshere, © Copyright 1995. All rights reserved