COWS GONE MISSING? (OXY-MORON?)
IT BE-HOOVED THEM TO SEARCH
A milky way fib, that “A cow jumped over the moon,”
Udderly impossible! Gravity? Far-fetched cartoon?
A cow is a ruminant, with 4 stomachs, and that’s no bull
Those cows can cough up and chew their cud, whenever full.
Learning how a cow’s brain’s wired, could be illuminating.
Cows think with their 4 stomachs? Sorry, just ruminating.
When short grass persists, some thoughts of tall grass could improve.
Maybe cows dream or scheme, then their 4 hooves mooo-ve.
COWS DID NOT GIVE A COW PIE
A cattle rancher couldn’t find his cattle one morn.
He and steed exited the corral, a path well worn.
An empty pasture? Young cows ran away from home?
No, that couldn’t happen, perhaps they were on the roam.
Racing, out-of-control cows is called a stampede.
All was quiet, perhaps they wandered, perhaps greed?
Wait til the cows come home, at 2 mph,they’d move.
When prime (beef) suspects ran away, they made a false mooo-ve.
COW-POKES ON COW-PONIES
Cowboys found a fence area that was broken down.
By cows? Deserters? Outward bound, needed to be found.
Cows lacked appreciation? Fillet mignons on the hoof?
If Charolais, they’d be French, but lacking proof, just a spoof.
By now 2 mounted cowboys searched for the long lost herd.
Those riders found a well-trodden path, in a fresh groove,
In a ditch. The assumption, hoping that’s where they’d mooo-ve.
GRAZING IN GREENER PASTURES
Many cows hurdled a broken down fence. They did jump,
But not over the moon, without a parachute bump.
They trekked west, showing no appreciation. The herd
Sought succulent bent-grass with bent minds. It occurred.
They’d found green grass to forage. Bossy’s feminine wiles
Trekked with no fear or COWardice, all with long-faced smiles.
So what’s the beef? Momma cow led, others just approved.
Din-din in a meadow smorgasbaard, that’s why they mooo-ved.
GOT MILK? ASK THE CALF
“Get along little dogies, your misfortune…none of my own.”
singing, “You know that Wyoming will be your new home.”
Old ballad. Calves were tag-alongs. A rancher’s belief,
So Momma cows could give calves bovinal udder relief.
Did we milk this true story too much? In the past years
Cowboys on horses herded cows to greener pastures.
Angus? Herefords? Wild guess? We don’t know and we can’t prove.
A 4 stomach sensation enticed range cows to mooo-ve.
The trail in the ditch was 6 miles away and then back.
A summer stunt had uppity cows doing a back track.
They found those orn’ry critters with a face full of grass.
Some were resting and some were belching their stomachs gas.
No round steaks ’round here. Did the fence make the cattle tense?
Or the greener grass on the other side of the fence?
Let’s get facts straight, we jumped to conclusions, failed to prove…
So what, if the herd of cattle decided to mooo-ve!
(c) 2016 Orv Alveshere, Rancho Mirage, CA
Orv grew up hanging on a horse. Neighbors claim, “They never saw ‘em walking.” At AKN-BREAK ACRES in mid North Dakota, where human bones broke, horses were trained. “I’m copyrighted, claim to make nonsense out of sense, sense out of nonsense,” Orv says. “Maybe 90% fact, 5% embellishment, 5% fiction.” Alveshere has written 250 poems at last count, performed 20 years at Medora Cowboy Poetry Gathering, including having done opening acts. He is the winner of three writing contests, had some work nationally published, including “AM AT THE MILLENNIUM: BEST POEMS OF THE CENTURY” and “FIRST S0UND OF POETRY” (A CD with 31 poems.) Beware of subtle humor and plays-on-words! One of his favorite memories was 23 ‘project’ horses cresting the hill, heading for the water tank.
Orv resides in Rancho Mirage, CA.